Bianca, I enjoyed reading your post. I liked how you talked about the women's appearance and how they responded answering your questions. One part stood out to me when you talked about your mother, about the pain she was having which brought her closer to you in the womb and her starting a new life with a new child. I like how you mention that having a child could possibly bring family together because I think that happens with my family often. We have kids and then we become closer as a whole and forget the other negativity in our life but focus on the baby. Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading more.
FROM Abdul (group member),
Your most beautiful line was, "However my mother said the pain she endured was a mark forever in her mind because it was the beginning of new life, like that was somewhat of her own." I believe this is a very strong point and one of which i've never heard before. The pain your mother endured was a mental mark in her mind for two the good and the bad. The good was because it was the bedinning of new life which resulted in you. Then there's the bad because I'm sure it hurt her so much and she will probably never forget it again. You also ended your post on an incredibly strong note, you ask one or more questions giving the reader something to think about and potentially comment on with their thought. This is a brilliant strategy. To answer the question "Is it pain that created the automatic bond between the mother and child?" I believe so indeed when it's all said and done, the mother realizes what all her effort and pain brought her, a beautiful baby. I'm sure most mothers believe it's worth it.
FROM Alina (Substitute Mentor),
Bianca, you did a great job with this post. I enjoyed reading about it and one particular aspect of your work caught my attention; it was really easy to create mental images in your head while you were describing the mothers and I could almost see the way your interviews took place! There were many interesting points that the mothers brought up and which you further discussed in your descriptions that I haven't thought of before. I also liked the way you ended your post with a question, leaving the reader to work out the answer for themselves. I think this is a great piece and quite honestly I can see it being developed into something big and brilliant. Keep it up!
FROM Spencer (Protege),
I really like the idea about "the theory that parents choose to have kids because kids are like puppets, in which parents can vicariously live through and wish to fulfill desires that have already waned as the parent's youth has become more or less nonexistent" It makes me think about how children are raised and how much they can reflect their parents. Good job!
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FOR Leah (group member),
I like that you mentioned that hearing about your own birth was rewarding in that it offered you a great deal of happiness. It was certainly something I did not think of doing- though it is clearly beneficial. When you began narrating the second birth story, I liked the fact that you mentioned the pregnancy books. I wish you had elaborated more on that idea- perhaps you could have related it to the way our culture deals with birth. Relating all your analyses back to the over-arching point of the dominant social practices in our society that surround birth is important. While I admire your ability to write concisely and to-the-point, I would suggest that you add in more flavor and details to make your writing even more thought-provoking. You should definitely proofread/go over your writing more than once to polish up your writing. I, too, also look forward to reading more of your work.
FOR Abdul (group member),
Great work! Your words transformed into vivid pictures to the extent that I felt as if I was intruding on someone's personal experiences. I like how you mentioned the ideal age to conceive a child in your second paragraph. All your stories portray the hardships that both the mother and father must bear in the event that a child would arrive soon. I can tell that interviewing family members was quite an experience- the opportunity to gain insight was most definitely pursued. After reading your writing, I began to think about how I would deal with such situations- would I abort my child if I were a teen? What would I make of a father leaving me and my child? This post was very impressive.
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