HW 53 - Independent Research A

1st Article:
Wortham, Jenna. "As Facebook Users Die, Ghosts Reach Out." New York Times. New York Times, July 17 2010. Web. 8 May 2011. <http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/18/technology/18death.html>.

2nd Article: 
Zuger, Abigail. "They Died, and Lived to Tell All About It." New York Times. New York Times, Nov 23 2009. Web. 8 May 2011. <http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/24/health/24books.html>.

Précis of First Article:
       Death has become a social experience online. Big corporations like Facebook have made it available to family members to memorialize their deceased person’s facebook page for friends and people alike to post and express their grief. Facebook has become an appropriate way of continuing the mourning process in a place where the dead created part of their identity. 

Précis of Second Article:
       The definition of death has changed in that dead hearts and dead brains no longer define death. Hospitals have come up with ways of cheating death with the help of chemical gases with no ill effects and freezing to manipulate the vague place where man is neither truly dead nor actually alive. However, cheating death is far from simple.

Analytical Paragraphs:
       Both of the articles surround the idea of everlasting life. “As Facebook Users Die, Ghosts Reach Out” talks about how the memorializing of a deceased person’s facebook page has several benefits, one of which is a sense of reconnection. This reconnection not only strikes old memories of the deceased but, force the living to come face to face with the statuses, pictures, and about-me’s the deceased once posted. These three things are all part of the memorial process – the tribute page/memorialized page represents a permanent place where the living can remember the profile and identity of the dead. The ideas and memories are kept alive with the reassuring grievers to share the mourning process. To me, the whole memorialized page is nothing less than a gateway of being part of something bigger than myself. This concept is admirable and desirable in society because coping with a problem, as a group, is much easier than coping alone. We can see this idea in other aspects – many people join war in order to feel like they have a greater purpose to serve with others. Society creates more meaning and purpose in the process of death with the bits and pixels of the Internet in order to render death as somewhat of a restored life. 

       “They Died, and Lived to Tell About it” concurs with the idea of restored life. Though I’m sure restored life is just a euphemism for cheated death. The saying “cheating death” sounds odd and selfish because I believe death is fate. Who are we to challenge fate with modern technology? We will all eventually meet our doom. We live to die so why are we obsessed with refusing natural law? This refusal of natural law is a clear depiction of how, as a species, we strive to strum the strings of life and death as much as we please. Dr. Sanjay Gupta, writer of Cheated Death, says, “Dead hearts and dead brains have traditionally been the end of the line in intensive care…Not so much anymore.” This begs the question, if dead hearts and dead brains don’t define death then what does? And when we find out what does, what will we make of the fact? Will we decide to invent new theories to trash and plummet the unfortunate truth of death into the ground? I believe we would. We would do so in order to make death more complex so we can distance ourselves from it. At this distance, we will be able to control death as we are as equipped to control life.
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Interview Someone in the Death Care Industry: (Interview is in the scroll box below)

Interview with someone in the Death Care Industry (Dimiceli & Sons, Inc.)
Interviewee: Jan Ronald (Pre-need sales counselor/ Receptionist)

Bianca: Hi…My grandmother is very old and near death - I have a few questions about what your funeral home can do to help me through this whole process. I’m interested in how you guys deal with certain aspects of death because I want to be sure those who will handle my grandmother have good intentions in caring for her.

Jan: Of course. Here, you can trust us and we will do what we can to help and make this process go smoothly.

Bianca: What grief therapy services during funeral services are available?

Jan: There are a number of services. We can provide music that your grandmother loves and a dog that walks around for people to pet for relief. There are others. The latter, personally, is most helpful. Your family members will be put at ease in the presence of a loving and understanding dog. The dog is trained and will not run amok.

Bianca: That sounds nice. I’ve been wondering for quite some time how people choose between having an open casket and closed casket…how do I go about making that decision?

Jan: It is different for everyone. Some people prefer open casket because family members and friends will leave the funeral with a good, lasting, and alive image of the dead. Knowing that the person looks essentially the same in their sleep is comforting because it assures family that the dead can be happy, as they were when they were alive. Others prefer closed caskets because to see their loved ones reach eternal sleep is too painful. It is ultimately up to you. No one can make that decision for you.

Bianca: Are families allowed to touch the person in the casket?

Jan: Yes, by choice of course.

Bianca: How many people have you seen in caskets?

Jan: I’ve seen several. Do you think you could handle seeing someone in a casket?

Bianca: I don’t think so…

Jan: It’s okay. Some people aren’t ready or prepared for it.

Bianca: How do children usually deal with seeing the whole funeral process?

Jan: Younger kids don’t show much empathy because usually the funeral process isn’t always explained to them.

Bianca: Would you advise that I tell the kids who would attend the funeral what they are at the funeral home for?

Jan: I would suggest it. It’s better that the kids know now so they are aware for the next time they have to attend a service. It depends on if you think the kids will experience sadness.

Bianca: How much closure does a service provide? Have funeral services and memorials given you closure?

Jan: It definitely has. To know that people will gather to send off the lost to a better place is always comforting. There’s a sense of reconnection among the people who gather at the service. It’s a chance for family members to come together and remember those who have passed away and the great memories they left.

Bianca: Thanks for the help.

Jan: Just call us if you have any more questions and we’ll do our best to help you.

Download Link of documented Interview on Word Document: DOWNLOAD LINK

Highlights from the Interview Paragraph
       I had some apprehension going into the funeral home because I feared that they would peg me as a lost child. I tried my best to come into the funeral home looking presentable in straight black work pants, a beige cardigan, and tan flats to appease whatever child-like presence I emanated. Having realized that introducing myself as a student seeking insights, offering no business to the funeral home, would not be welcomed in their place of death-care business, I introduced myself as a person who’s grandmother is very old and near death. After answering a few of my questions, Jan, the pre-need sales counselor and receptionist seemed genuinely concerned. I wasn’t exactly fooled. The highlight of the interview would have probably been when she actually asked me a question instead of me asking her. It was good trick to capture customers I’d say – she asked me, “Do you think you could handle seeing someone in a casket?” It was clever and I admire how people working in the funeral business try to give both genuine and fake empathy. Her answers to my questions were immediate, probably because she had answered the questions I asked several times before with others. This was certainly the second highlight of the interview – realizing that each person at the funeral served more than a scripted role. Jan’s would be the informer and empathizer. These were identities created in order to accommodate the people who didn’t know how to handle grief or understand what decisions could be made.

Analysis Paragraph
       After having finished Tom Jokinen’s Curtains, I wasn’t surprised to hear what Jan, the pre-need sales counselor and receptionist, had to say. This was good experience because this was as close as I was going to get to confirm the anecdotes and stories of Tom Jokinen and his journey entering family funeral home business. You know – aside from seeing actual embalmed bodies and body bags lying around. In whole, Dimiceli & Sons, Inc was a nice establishment with cushioned chairs, however quiet and chilling it may have been when I had visited. Jan says to me, “Here, you can trust us and we will do what we can to help and make this process go smoothly.” By then, the customer-salesperson relationship had been created and whatever walls I had intended to leave down automatically went right back up. Nonetheless, I proceeded to ask questions.

“We can provide music that your grandmother loves and a dog that walks around for people to pet for relief. There are others. The latter, personally, is most helpful. Your family members will be put at ease in the presence of a loving and understanding dog. The dog is trained and will not run amok,” says Jan.

I thought this concept was incredibly captivating. A dog was certainly a creature who brought joy so, why couldn’t it be as useful during times of mourning? The dog, maybe what I’d call a “grief-therapist,” represented the illusion of truth, human connection, and sadness, all wrapped up in one package. Relief, which the dog was a gateway towards, is to the living closure and hope. Both of these things are highly desired in society because they lessen the ambiguity of what happens in between life and death. Jan presented to me what funeral homes were marketing in that they didn’t market just luxurious oak caskets, grave markers, or a place on their website to advertise the date of a service but hope, memories, meaning to the dead. What funeral homes provide to society is far from a materialistic reward but, a intangible feeling of both love and loss.